Indigestion 2016: Where The Top 10 GOP Candidates Stand On Marriage Equality

by  –

gop contenders 2

Over the last week the heads of a thousand Republicans have exploded over the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality. They can’t believe that the highest court in the land had the nerve to grant equal protection to the LGBT community. If you look back at history, they had the same reaction when African-Americans had their civil rights protected. In both cases, the right has used the Bible to justify their hate. Fortunately, for all of the Americans the GOP has oppressed or wants to oppress, this is not a country governed by their cherry-picked Bibles.

With that in mind, this week’s edition of  “Indigestion 2016″ will be focused on marriage equality.

Where do the top 10 GOP clowns stand?

10. Jeb Bush:

In 1994 when Bush ran for governor of Florida he compared gay people to pedophiles and said that they did not deserve protection from their governor, but his views have evolved since then.

When the marriage equality ruling was handed down by the Supreme Court, Bush released a statement that said he believes in “traditional marriage” and he thinks the SCOTUS should have left the issue up to the states. That is the typical GOP talking point when they don’t want to take a stand on an issue, but he also called for the country to do this:

“… love our neighbor and respect others, including those making lifetime commitments. In a country as diverse as ours, good people who have opposing views should be able to live side by side. It is now crucial that as a country we protect religious freedom and the right of conscience and also not discriminate.”

Jeb differs from his fellow Republicans because he didn’t go full-on dumbass over the issue of marriage equality. That is why he is number ten this week.

9. Carly Fiorina:

In May, Fiorina changed her lifelong stance against marriage equality and said that she no longer supports an amendment to ban it:

I think the Supreme Court ruling will become the law of the land, and however much I may agree or disagree with it, I wouldn’t support an amendment to reverse it and I very much hope that we would come to a place now in this nation where we can support their decision and at the same time support people’s right to have, to hold religious views and to protect their right to exercise those views. I think this is a nation that should be able to accept and government shouldn’t discriminate in how it provides benefits and the people have a right to their religious freedoms.”

No matter how incredibly stupid some of her other beliefs are, at least she is showing some common sense on this issue. That is not something we can say about some of her competition.

8. Lindsey Graham:

When the marriage equality ruling came down, I was sure that Lindsey Graham, who has in the past supported a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, would say more of the same nonsense, but surprisingly he didn’t. When asked about the ruling he had this to say:

“I support traditional marriage, but I will not take an issue and create a wedge that would be for my benefit in the primary but not good for the country as a whole.”

With that, Graham gave up his fight for a constitutional amendment that would discriminate against the LGBT community. For once, he exhibited good judgement, a quality his party is sorely lacking.

Yeah, I’m shocked too.

7. Marco Rubio:

Rubio is a typical Republican who believes in “traditional marriage.” As Speaker of the House in Florida, he supported the state’s constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. He also supported John Boehner’s fight to save the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), calling it a “critical law.” But when he has been asked about his position on a federal amendment to ban gay marriage, he has repeatedly said that he does not support one.

The problem with Rubio is that he wants to come across as a likeable guy and sometimes he does; but, he’s constantly changing his mind. Rubio wants so heard to please the Republican base, who sees him as a “brown guy,” that he flip-flops all the time. That makes him just as bad as some of the other candidates who are vehemently anti-gay.

6. Rand Paul:

Rand “The Fake Libertarian” Paul, said, in April, that he thinks everyone should be treated fairly. An intelligent person would think that means that everyone deserves equal protection under the law and therefore the Supreme Court ruling was right; but, no that’s not what he thinks.

When the ruling came down last week Rand Paul suddenly decided that the government should not recognize ANY marriages. He claims that he’s Libertarian leanings are the reason for this, but really, it is because the government had the audacity to apply the Equal Protection Clause to the LGBT community. It’s his way of saying he is against it, without actually saying he’s against it.

5. Mike Huckabee:

This guy….Mike Huckabee just keeps opening the hole in his face and spewing all kinds of stupid. Seriously, if you spend 30 seconds listening to this guy, I swear you can feel yourself losing IQ points; it’s that bad. So keeping that in mind, it really isn’t all that surprising that the former governor of Arkansas hates The Gay™. When the Supreme Court ruled against his bigoted beliefs, he said this:

First of all, what an insult to African-Americans, who were hosed in the street, who were beaten, who were truly discriminated against with separate restrooms, separate drinking fountains, separate entrances. That was true discrimination and it was horrible. It’s hard to say that the redefinition of marriage is on the same basis as was racial discrimination throughout our history.”


Clearly this fool had forgotten about all of the people in the LGBT community who were MURDERED for being gay. We even have hate crime legislation named after one: Matthew Shepard. Discrimination is discrimination, there is no “true discrimination.” That’s like saying “reverse racism,” there is no such thing!

Mike Huckabee, is a complete and utter fool; he will never, ever make it to the White House, but he should keep talking, because it reminds all of us why the Republican Party needs to just go away.

4. Donald Trump:

I really, really didn’t want to add Trump to my weekly column. I do not believe he is a serious candidate and it really annoys me that I have to write about him, but unfortunately here we are and his opinion on marriage is as stupid as everything else he does. Trump believes in “traditional marriage” even though he has been married three times. Odd, right? For the most part, the loudmouth has kept quiet about marriage equality, but that’s probably because he’s so busy kicking immigrants and trying to save his business. In short: Trump is a tool.

3. Ben Carson:

Neurosurgeon Ben Carson has spent his entire career working on other people’s brains, which is funny because he doesn’t seem to have one himself. Earlier this year he said prison rape proves that people “choose” to be gay, so it comes as no surprise that he doesn’t support marriage equality.

In May, Carson warned that is the SCOTUS ruled in favor of marriage equality for gay people then suddenly “more groups” were going to expect the court to allow them to marry. It’s the typical slippery-slope argument of people suddenly being allowed to marry their dogs if the LGBT community were allowed to wed. When the marriage equality ruling came down, Carson said Congress needs to get “creative”:

“The laws are made by the legislative branch. And, you know, you can make a law to negate virtually anything, you just have to be creative in the way that you do it. So no, I don’t think it’s over by any stretch of the imagination.”

He wasn’t really using his brain with that statement, was he? Carson is another Republican who doesn’t seem to understand that the SCOTUS ruling cannot be changed unless Congress were to pass a constitutional amendment and that isn’t going to happen. Poor, delusional bigot.

2. Rick Santorum:

Rick Santorum is about to explode with anger over the marriage equality ruling! He is so angry that he is not legally allowed to discriminate against the LGBT community that he said the ruling is going to destroy the fabric of the country. Those gays, always destroying everything with their unreasonable expectation that they not be treated like second-class citizens .

Santorum says that if he is elected president, within the first hundred days he will sign the First Amendment Defense Act because he believes evil homosexuals are attacking his religious freedom.

I’m pretty sure Santorum is confused; it doesn’t matter what law he signed because the Supreme Court has spoken. Silly Republican, he obviously doesn’t understand how that whole checks and balances thing works.

Finally, the number one anti-gay Republican is…..

1. Ted Cruz:

Ted Cruz went absolutely batshit crazy when the Supreme Court ruling was handed down. He, like Carson, started talking all sorts of nonsense about what could be done to prevent marriage equality. On Fox News he was completely owned by Megyn Kelly when he suggested we should start holding “retention elections” for members of the court all because he was angry that gay people would not be discriminated against.

Who in their right mind would design a system where every major public policy issue of the day is decided not by the people, not by the Constitution, not by the elected representatives, but by nine elite lawyers in Washington, D.C.?”

He keeps saying “elite lawyers” or “unelected lawyers” when talking about the SCOTUS as if that somehow invalidates their positions. We suggest Ted Cruz actually read the Constitution he is always claiming he loves, because he doesn’t seem to understand how our country works.

Even though some of the Republican candidates have changed their positions on gay marriage, the party is still extremely dangerous. The best way to keep them from destroying the progress we have made is to keep the White House blue; that means all of you need to make sure you vote in 2016 and protect everyone’s rights.


Reprinted with permission from Addicting Info