Our Congress – When it Comes to Nothing, We Really Got Something

 

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“From the Desk of NickiLeaks”

In DC, the cherry blossoms are blooming and Congress is returning from vacation.

Only one will yield fruit, while the other is already filled with fruit, much of it rotten and spoiled.

The cherry trees will produce a crop while Congress a produce a crock, two crooks and a thousand excuses.

The blooming trees will remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, but thanks to the oil companies, the coal companies and their well-funded lobbyists, the blooming idiots will add to the amount of bad gasses in the air.

Some  adding of gasses will be done by sneaking amendments onto bills, some will be done with the routine breathing Congress does and the making of unneeded speeches and some bad gasses will be created thanks to the defunding of agencies and inspectors tasked with making sure this doesn’t happen.

Thanks, GOP, you Gaseous Old Pirates!

Now, a lot of people are probably glad to see Congress back in town. You have to imagine that there are many wives and husbands of lobbyists who would much rather see their young lovers than their slimy spouses.

Limo drivers are probably happier because there will be . . . functions!

Some will be bodily and some will involve cocktails going in the other end and those will involve drivers.

A lot of limo measuring goes on in that town.

But you don’t hear “My mileage is better than your mileage!”

At least not enough, and not yet.

Bankers are happy as K Street coffers must be filled before the lunches are bought and that means fees and floats for them, a few favors for friends and a few favors in return.

(Nod, nod. Wink, wink.)

8566778921_7880497455_zK Street is bound to be churning as there were fees to be charged, needless and inaccurate polls to be pushed and spin to be put on platforms that would cause Jesus to cast people out.

Instead, it’s likely that it will be the orphans and homeless carpenters that will be tossed out as soon as ALEC can get a law or two passed.

The restaurant owners are happy as they know their business will be good for a couple of months.

On the other hand, waiters were pissed knowing whom their customers are about to be. If there are some groups of people that demand a lot and tip way too little, it’s lawyers, lobbyists and lawmakers.

So the waiters weren’t happy. Not at all.

The hookers were ecstatic. Need I say more?

Bars would be filled, golf courses would thrive with business, liquor stores shelves would empty and the lobster and crab legs wouldn’t be bought with food stamps.

As if they ever were.

But that’s what happens when people have jobs.

But no jobs bills will be passed while this Congress is back.

People could buy houses, if undocumented Americans were allowed to build them.

But that won’t happen with this Congress.

People could buy groceries – even cherries – but the minimum wage won’t go up.

Not with this Congress.

So the trees are blooming with flowers and Congress is blooming with idiots.

And with the cherry trees, you can always throw them on the fire to keep the poor warm.

And you can’t do that with Congress.

That law, actually got passed.

By Nick Vanocur, For All-len-All.com