The Sunday Funnies and Factoids

Apr. 6/14

Front_page_bob-300x176Happy Sunday, one and all.  Welcome back to visit my latest edition of the Sunday funnies and factoids.  Glad you could make it to take in some lesser known facts that are floating around out there in the ether.

You are lucky that I made it here today.  I awoke yesterday morning to a fresh two inches of snow on the ground and the only thing that stopped me from crawling into the empty bathtub and opening a vein to bring on the sweet release of death was several cups of extra strong coffee.  On the upside, I saw my first robin of the Spring and today is going to be mild and sunny.  Thank Christ for the small mercies.

So without further ado it is on with my SF&Fs.  Enjoy.

1) Who the hell knew this?  Cashews are always sold without their shells because the shell contains an oil that can cause a rash similar to poison ivy.  So now, “I’m itching for a cashew” takes on an entirely different connotation.

2) In 1950, the first independent credit card company in the world, Diners Club, started as a way for New York businessmen to pay for client meals at 14 participating restaurants. The Club went on to inspire the first credit card-themed Hollywood movie (1963’s The Man from the Diners’ Club).

3) Winona Ryder was cast to play Michael Corleone’s daughter in Godfather III. When she dropped out, Sofia Coppola got the part.  Now reading that just pissed me off.  It was such a bad movie and Sofia probably put in the most raspberry worthy performance in the history of modern day cinema.  It was embarrassing to watch.  Thankfully, the acorn doesn’t fall too far from the tree because she is a dammmm good director.

4) Ayds, an appetite-suppressant candy  in the 1970s, lost 50 percent of its sales when a similarly named virus hit the scene in the 80s. But how did the woefully-named product rebound? By changing their name to “Diet Ayds.”

5) During the 38-week stretch from June 9th, 1990, to March 1st, 1991, either M.C. Hammer or Vanilla Ice had Billboard’s #1 album every week but one. The only album to sneak into the top spot during that period was Step by Step by New Kids on the Block.  I could hardly type that.  Oh my gawd…. and they say the 80s had bad music….. Christ the 80s ‘can’t touch this’… huh, huh…. see what I did there?

6) Whiskey is clear when it is first distilled. It gets it’s color and much of it’s taste from the oak barrels in which it is aged.

7) In 1973, Mao Zedong told Henry Kissinger that China had an excess of females and offered the United States 10 million Chinese women.  Who else finds this more than a little creepy?  Show of hands… okay, it unanimous.

8) Chad and Barbie Soper of Rockford, Michigan, have three kids. They were born on 08/08/08, 09/09/09, and 10/10/10.  Can anyone say cesarean section?  “Barbie”?  Really?  You volunteer to be called that?

9) Two of America’s greatest national symbols were made overseas: The Liberty Bell was cast in England and the Statue of Liberty was crafted in France.  So much for made in America.

10) Cheddar cheese that has been ripened for six months is considered “mild.” Seven months to a year of ripening makes “sharp” cheddar, and two years worth of aging yields an “extra sharp” product.  Mmmmmmmmm…… cheddar cheese…..

11) “J” is the only letter of the alphabet not used in the atomic symbol for any element.

12) “I write the songs” was NOT written by Barry Manilow. It was written by Bruce Johnston, who was the sixth member of the Beach Boys.

13) A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely”. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.

The first student raised his hand and said, “The sky is definitely blue”. The teacher said, “Well, that isn’t entirely correct, because sometimes it’s grey and cloudy”.

Another student says, “Grass is definitely green.” The teacher again replies “If grass doesn’t get enough water it turns brown, so that isn’t really correct either.”

Finally, Billy raises his hand and asks the teacher “Do farts have lumps?” The teacher looked at him and said “No…But that isn’t really a question you want to ask in class discussion.” So Billy replies, “Then I definitely just shit my pants.”

14) Fish cough.

 

Ciao….. have a great Sunday and a wonderful and safe week, folks.  See you back here in seven days.

 

Keith