The Sunday Funnies and Factoids: The New Year’s Edition

Front_page_bobWelcome to the New Year’s edition of the Sunday funnies and factoids.  Yep, it’s true, another year has almost passed and a fresh one is just around the corner.  It seems hard to believe at times but it really shouldn’t surprise anyone.  A lot has happened this year both good and not so good.  Good,  Barack  Obama took office for the second time.  Bad, Ted Cruz took office for the first time.  Good,  Justin Bieber recently announced his retirement.  Bad, Justin Bieber even more recently announced his retirement announcement was a prank.  Oh well, it can’t always be good news.  Just remember, with the pendulum of life, for every down there is two ups.  Happy New Years everyone.  Stay healthy, happy, and safe in 2014 and well beyond.

1) The Catholic Church denounced any New Year’s celebrations as paganism. Ironically, as Christianity rolled through the world, the Catholic community devised other types of celebrations for the “Feast of Christ’s Circumcision,” which is observed the same as New Year’s Eve and Day.  That really doesn’t sound very tasty at all.  Can we not just order in some Chinese? 

2) The most common New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight. About 60% of all Americans will establish that resolution this year.    psssst….it’s not working new_year_diet

3) The first recorded New Year’s celebration dates back 4,000 years to Babylon, when the first moon after the spring equinox marked a new year. In 46 B.C., Julius Caesar created a calendar with Jan. 1 as the first day of the year, partly to honor Janus, the month’s namesake and god of beginnings. 

4) At midnight in Japan, Buddhist temples all over the county ring bells 108 times. The number symbolizes the 108 human behaviors Buddhism considers sinful, and it’s believed that ringing the bells expels these sins from the previous year. One of the most popular gathering spots to listen hear them toll is the Watch-Night bell in Tokyo.  Hmmmmm, only 108? 

5) Might want to double check that your car is locked tonight and that you haven’t left any valuable items inside. According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, the two biggest days for car theft of the year are New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Last year, 2,152 thefts occurred nationwide on New Year’s Eve only to be topped by 2,228 thefts the following day.

6) New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Read less.

I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.

I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store

Stop exercising. Waste of time.

Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.

Watch less T.V. in standard definition

Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.

Watch more movie remakes.

Start washing my hands after I use the restroom.

Procrastinate more.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

Drink. Drink some more.

Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials

Start being superstitious.

Spend more time at work.

Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!

 

Happy New Year, everyone.  See you next week !!!!

 

Keith