The Sunday Funnies & Factoids

June 29/14, by Keith Lennox for All-len-All –

Hellloooo, folks.  Happy Sunday to all who humble me with their presence at this weeks Sunday Funnies & Factoids.  Beautiful day and weekend on the north side of the 49th parallel for the upcoming Canada Day holiday.  Hope this editions finds you all happy and healthy.  So without further ado…. let the SF&Fs show begin….

funny-cat with milk

1) Queen Elizabeth does carry a small amount of money in that large handbag — enough to put into the weekly collection plate at church.

2) Styx’s seventh album, “The Grand Illusion,” was released on 7/7/77.  Interesting….. too bad their music is so…… ummmmmm…… so……. yawn inducing.

3) Koalas do not drink. They get all the moisture they need from the leaves that they ingest.

corn dog perry4) The split-fingered Vulcan salute from Star Trek is derived from an Orthodox Jewish ritual called the Blessing Hands, which is used to anoint congregations on holy days. Leonard Nimoy, whose grandfather was Orthodox, remembered the hand gesture from his childhood visits to the synagogue and borrowed it for his role as Mr. Spock.  Well, that is indeed logical, Mr. Spock.

5) Gerald Ford’s son Steven had a recurring role on The Young and the Restless. He also appeared on Baywatch.

6) Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of British music group Queen, was born in Zanzibar as Farrokh Bulsara.   Man, I miss Freddie….. gonna throw some Queen on my ghetto blaster right now, as a matter of fact.

7) The 1980 movie Chariots of Fire was the first movie in nearly fifty years to win an Oscar for Best Picture without winning any of the five other “major” awards (Best Actor, Actress, Director, Supporting Actor, and Supporting Actress).

8) There is one strand of corn silk for each kernel on an ear of corn.  This is absolutely true….. I just counted them.  I need a nap.

9) In 1968, a young Robert DeNiro had a role in Greetings, the first American X-rated film (in its original release).

10)10 Obscure References in Classic Rock Songs—Explained by Kara Kovalchik:  

We hear some songs so often on the radio that we automatically sing along with them, but how much of what we’re singing do we really understand? (See part one here.)

1. “WE’RE AN AMERICAN BAND,” GRAND FUNK RAILROAD

“Sweet, sweet Connie, doin’ her act, She had the whole show and that’s a natural fact.”
“Up all night with Freddie King; I got to tell you, poker’s his thing.”

Drummer Don Brewer wrote this tune during Grand Funk’s 1972 tour. “Sweet” Connie Hamzy is one of rock ‘n roll’s most notorious groupies, and by her account she’s enjoyed the company of The Who, Neil Diamond, the Allman Brothers, the Eagles, and Led Zeppelin (to name just a few) when they passed through her hometown of Little Rock, Arkansas. Hamzy stated in a 1992 Penthouse article that she’d also gotten up close and personal with Bill Clinton when he was the Governor of The Natural State.

Blues singer Freddie King was Grand Funk’s opening act on that tour, and his regular post-show ritual included a few high-stakes hands of poker.

2. “SWEET HOME ALABAMA,” LYNYRD SKYNYRD

“I hope Neil Young will remember a Southern man don’t need him around anyhow”… “Now Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers”

Canadian singer/songwriter Neil Young’s song “Southern Man” (from his 1970 album After the Gold Rush) was highly critical of the American South, making reference to things like cross burnings and cracking bullwhips. Alabama-based Skynyrd didn’t cotton to some bacon-loving francophone disrespecting Dixie and took him to task in their 1974 hit. The Muscle Shoals Sound Studio in Sheffield, Alabama, was founded in 1969 by a group of backing musicians who called themselves the Swampers. The quartet had defected from the nearby FAME Studios to set up their own studio and they eventually became the first rhythm section to own their own studio, production and publication companies.

3. “BRASS IN POCKET,” THE PRETENDERS

“Got brass in pocket, got bottle, I’m gonna use it”
“Been driving, Detroit leaning”… “Got a new skank, so reet”

Even though lead singer Chrissie Hynde grew up in Akron, Ohio, she picked up some local slang when she moved to London in 1973 to form a new band. “Brass in pocket” is British slang for money (it originally referred to the color of the gold coins), and “bottle” means courage. The “Detroit lean” refers to the Motown habit of driving with one hand on the steering wheel while slouching slightly to the right. “Skanking” is a dance step in which the body moves from side to side, and “reet” means cool, or righteous.

4. “IT’S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME,” BILLY JOEL

“Maybe I should buy some old tab collars?” … “How about a pair of pink sidewinders and a bright orange pair of pants? You could really be a Beau Brummel, baby”

Joel’s tribute to substance over style hit number one in the summer of 1980. The lyrics mention all sorts of trends, both in fashion and music, beginning with a classic tab-collared shirt. This style of men’s dress shirt has two small fabric tabs in the middle of the collar points that are meant to connect to push the tie knot up and out. Sidewinders are a style of slip-on shoe: Some were sneakers, and others were more dressy leather loafers, but the pink variety more likely referred to the canvas-topped version. George “Beau” Brummell was the arbiter of men’s fashion in Regency England. He is credited with making trousers (as opposed to knee breeches and stockings) standard wear, along with a crisp, ironed shirt, tailored suitcoat and knotted necktie.

5. “KILLER QUEEN,” QUEEN

“She keeps a Moët et Chandon in her pretty cabinet”

Freddie Mercury has said that this 1974 hit was about a “high-class call girl,” so it makes sense that she would keep a bottle of very expensive champagne in her liquor cabinet. The Moët et Chandon winery was established in 1743 and currently holds a Royal Warrant to supply their bubbly to Queen Elizabeth II.

6. “DOWN ON THE CORNER,” CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL

“Blinky thumps the gut bass and solos for a while. Poorboy twangs the rhythm out on his kalamazoo.”

The gut bass as a musical instrument was simply an overturned metal washtub used as a resonator for a broomstick with one or more strings attached to it to make the sound of a bass violin. The Gibson Guitar Corporation was founded in Kalamazoo, Michigan, in 1902, and for many years the city’s imprint was stamped on all of their guitars and mandolins.

7. “SWEET EMOTION,” AEROSMITH

“Tellin’ other things, but your girlfriend lied; Can’t catch me cause the rabbit done died.”

Until home pregnancy tests became commonplace, a woman had to make an appointment with a doctor to determine whether or not she was with child. The standard method was the so-called “rabbit test,” which involved the doctor injecting the patient’s urine into the ovaries of a female rabbit and then waiting 48 hours or more for the telltale changes which signaled the presence of the hCG hormone. Of course, the phrase “the rabbit died” itself was a misnomer because, regardless of the outcome, the bunny was already deceased prior to its ovaries being removed for testing purposes. But the phrase was commonly used, and it worked lyrically in this case to indicate that just because Girlfriend was in a family way, Boyfriend could not automatically assume that Steven Tyler was the father.

8. “WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER,” THE POLICE

“You consider me the young apprentice caught between the Scylla and Charybdis.”

“Caught between the Scylla and Charybdis” is a fancy-schmancy way of saying “between a rock and a hard place” if you’re a student of Greek mythology. According to Homer’sOdyssey, Scylla and Charybdis were two sea monsters who lived within an arrow shot’s distance on opposite sides of a strait that was an important means of passage for sailors of that era.

9. “JACK AND DIANE,” JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP

“Let’s run off behind a shady tree, dribble off those Bobbie Brooks let me do what I please.”

The “let me do what I please,” added to the stealth of doing so behind a tree, makes it fairly obvious that the singer has less than noble intentions. If any further evidence was needed for his motives, let the record show that Bobbie Brooks was and is the name of a clothing line that was founded in 1939. Their most popular and enduring item, though, is a selection of blue jeans that are now sold exclusively at Dollar General stores.

10. “WEREWOLVES OF LONDON,” WARREN ZEVON

“I saw Lon Chaney, Jr. walking with the Queen doing the werewolves of London. I saw a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic’s…”

Lon Chaney, born Leonidas Frank Chaney, was a silent film actor who was known for playing “grotesque” characters such as The Hunchback of Notre Dame and The Phantom of the Opera. Thanks to his ability to transform his visage so drastically with makeup, he was known as “The Man of 1000 Faces.” His son carried on the family tradition, playing monsters in many Mummy, Frankenstein, Werewolf and Dracula movies in the 1930s and ’40s. Trader Vic’s is a restaurant chain that at one time (during the Tiki craze of the 1950s) had 25 Polynesian-themed upscale eateries worldwide. Founder Victor Bergeron was one of two people who claimed to be the creator of the Mai Tai cocktail.

 trolling..... funny picture11) In the 1980s, a beer-drinking goat was elected mayor of Lajitas, TX.  They really didn’t have to tell us it was in Texas, now did they?

12)  A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ”Shut up…you’re next!”

13) Julia Child was 6 feet, 2 inches tall.

14) A former slave ship captain wrote the song “Amazing Grace.”

15) There are 293 ways to make change for a U.S. or Canadian dollar.

16) Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’.

He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’.

‘Is it common?’I asked.

‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.

17) Only female mosquitos bite you.  Yeah, that figures…. hehehehehe !!!

 

Thanks for stopping by, gang.  See you next week, same time, same website….. and don’t forget to pay it forward at least once this week.  You’ll feel great that you did, I guarantee it.

 

Keith