The Sunday Funnies & Factoids

by Keith Lennox, All-len-All – The ‘I Can if I Want’ Edition –

Happy Sunday, one and all.  Thanks for stopping by to grab your weekly dose of chuckles and meaningless factoids.

Grey, dank, and unseasonably cool here.  I might just have to make a trip to the wine rack in the cellar earlier than I normally do today.  Hmmmm, got a feeling this is not going to be pretty.   ;-)

Enough about my numerous vices and on with what you really care about, this week’s Sunday Funnies & Factoids.

1) René Lacoste, a professional tennis player, invented the world’s first logo shirt. Known as “Le Crocodile” for his on-court tenacity, Lacoste added the crocodile to his clothes in the 1930s – the first time a designer logo is known to have appeared on the outside of a shirt.

facebook meme2) By law, French workers get at least 30 paid vacation days each year.  Sacre bleu !!!!!!

3) The U.S., Burma, and Liberia are the only countries in the world that have not officially adopted the metric system as the standard of measurement.

4) Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Oklahoma?

A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

stolen bike5) The only father-daughter collaboration to hit number one on the Billboard pop chart was “Something Stupid” by Frank & Nancy Sinatra in 1967.

6) During a 1956 speech for his campaign of de-Stalinization, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev was asked by an unseen audience member why, as an advisor to the dictator, he had never stopped Stalin from committing his atrocities. Khrushchev immediately lashed out, “Who said that?” The room grew quiet. Khrushchev repeated his query to more silence, waited a beat, and then said, “Well, now you understand why.”

7) The Chevrolet Corvair compact car wasn’t actually ‘killed’ by author Ralph Nader in his scathing book, “Unsafe at Any Speed”. The design of the car had run its course from 1960 to 1969 and sales were drastically affected by the Ford Mustang and GM’s own Camaro.

8) The original version of Roger Corman’s The Little Shop of Horrors was reportedly the fastest film ever made. It was written in a single night, rehearsed in three days, and shot in two days and one night. Why the rush? Corman wanted to finish the movie by New Year’s Day 1960, when a new industry practice would have forced him to pay the actors residual fees for any showing.  Cheap prick !!!!

karma9) The popular hip-shaking dance, the merengue, got its name from the whisking motion required to make meringue. Without all that mixing and stirring, meringue is nothing more than egg whites, sugar, and cream of tartar.

10) The third right arm of a male octopus is more than an arm— it’s his reproductive organ.  That reminds me of the old joke…. Did you hear about the guy with five penises?  His pants fit like a glove.  Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

11) Coming up with the perfect business name that isn’t too cheesy and which explains your business perfectly with a little hint of wittiness can be a real challenge – afterall, you wouldn’t want a bad business name now would you?

However, get it wrong and suffer an unfortunate business name forever. “Honey, business is terrible. Do you think it could be our name?” “Darling, there’s nothing wrong with “Cockburn Refrigeration.” Cockburn is a family name!”

10. Retarded Childrens Thrift Store

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9. Kidsexchange

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8. A-Nails

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7. Vagina Tandoori

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6. Cockburn Refrigeration

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5. Camel Tow Service

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4. Morning Wood

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3. Rape

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2. Women Kickboxing Kids

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1. Gay Fish Co.

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If all else fails, just hire someone to name your business. Yes, pay someone $1000s for just coming up with a name.

 

Republican-t-shirt-funniest-EVER

Okay, guys, I’m outta’ here.  Have a great Sunday and a week to end all weeks.  If afforded the opportunity, please pay it forward at least once this week.  You’ll feel good about yourselves if you do.

Ciao,

 

Keith