The Sunday Funnies & Factoids – The ‘Even the Brass Monkeys Balls Have Ascended’ Edition

by Keith Lennox, All-len-All, 02/15/15

Hello, folks.  Welcome back to the site where you can load up on absolutely useless information that will likely impress no one in the circle you run.  But that matters not.  What does matter is that you leave this page knowing a thing or two more than when you first arrived.  Throw on top of that a chuckle or two and I can only hope that the five minutes spent here were worth your while.

So, without further twaddling on my part, on with the Sunday Funnies & Factoids.

 

1) 106-year-old Manoel de Oliveira is the oldest active film director. He began making movies during the silent era.

dance vodka2) And on that note……… starting at age 30, a person’s chances of dying doubles every eight years. In 1939, economists revised Gompertz’s law to accommodate people older than 80, whose rate of mortality seemed to level off. Ever since, actuarial tables and calculations have depended on that assumption.

In an attempt to refine estimates of death rates in very old age, Gavrilov and colleague Natalia Gavrilova compiled data from the Social Security Administration Death Master File for about nine million Americans born between 1881 and 1895.

After creating life tables and calculating death rates for each age, the researchers reported in The North American Actuarial Journal that Gompertz law applies at least to the age of 106. That means that reaching an old age does not increase the likelihood of reaching an even older age. No matter how old people are, their rate of mortality continues to double every eight years.

old people funerals3) If you were drafted during the American Civil War you could legally pay someone else $300 to go in your place.

4) It’s estimated 1.5 million people are “missing missing”in the U.S.; people who have disappeared but haven’t been reported as missing.

5) Every Apple iPhone ad displays the time as 9:41 AM, the time Steve Jobs unveiled it in 2007.

6) The first president of Zimbabwe was President Banana…… and the wife was First Lady Coconut… *snort*

7) This guy grabs a shot of himself high above the blue waters of what looks to be the Caribbean. He seems really relaxed way up there, and he should be, right? They must take special precautions to make sure those straps and clips don’t snap, don’t they?

When+you+see+it.+When+you+see+it+you+will_71446f_3665977

8) Venus Williams’ middle name is “Ebony Starr.”

9) It costs the U.S. Government $2,768,902 per year to hold a prisoner in Guantanamo.

10) There is a 600-year-old and 240-paged-book called the Voynich Manuscript, written in a language that’s still completely unknown today.

god don't be a dick11) In 1913, Hitler, Stalin, Trotsky, Tito and Freud all lived within a few miles of each other in Vienna, with some of them being regulars at the same coffeehouses.

12) French grammarian Dominique Bouhours last words were: “I am about to —or I am going to— die: either expression is correct.”

13) Saffron is the most expensive spice in the world at US$500 per  pound (454gr).

14) Six pieces of 2×4 LEGO bricks can be combined in 915,103,765 ways.

15) Metallica is the first and only band to play on all seven continents.

moon bathroom16) The dates 4/4, 6/6, 8/8, 10/10, and 12/12 all fall on the same day of the week.

17) Before Bill Nye became “The Science Guy,” he was a stand-up comedian.

18) Most of the world’s fastest runners come from a singletribe in Kenya, Africa, called the “Kalenjins.”

19) The most common color for highlighters is yellow because it doesn’t leave a shadow on the page when photocopied.

20) Paul McCartney is the only musician to have number one singles as a solo artist, as part as a duo, a trio, a quartet, a quintet, and a sextet

21) 12 Clever and Creative Snowmen, by Miss Cellania

This morning I awoke to see my world covered in snow. The temperature is warm enough for the roads to clear and for snow to pack together nicely, yet cold enough for the white stuff to survive the day. It’s a perfect day to build a snowman, whether Elsa wants to participate or not. If you don’t have snow, enjoy these snowmen built by other folks.

1. TOO SOON

Snowman season began back in September for Calgary, Alberta, even before the autumnal equinox, so we were still officially in summer! A snowman posted by redditor zakrak4 makes his opinion about that very clear.

2. SNOWMAN GOES POSTAL

Here’s a snowman that is definitely mail. I believe he may be suffering from POST traumatic stress disorder, which is why he is wailing. Maybe it’s just me, but I couldn’t help but sing that song from Blue’s Clues when I saw this.

3. THE KIM KARDASHIAN SNOWMAN

You can’t help but laugh when an instantly recognizable internet meme becomes a snowman. Just last month, someone sculpted a snowman (ahem, snow woman) in the likeliness of Kim Kardashian’s Paper magazine photo shoot. Twitter user BRiTTaLiTY had to share a picture.

4. KEGSTAND SNOWMAN

Flickr user sneaka spotted this snowman doing a keg stand on her way to work in Madison, Wisconsin. How’d they do that?

5. GODZILLA EATS CARS

Buffalo, New York, suddenly found itself underneath several feet of snow a couple of months ago. Since the city was buried, there wasn’t much to do that didn’t involve snow. Olsettres spotted this monstrous snow sculpture that showed at least some Buffalo residents retained their sense of humor during the event.

6. TAUN TAUN

A rare snowstorm blanketed the area around Amarillo, Texas, just this past week. A friend of redditor Xnipek took the opportunity to construct a snow sculpture of a Taun Taun from the Star Wars ice planet Hoth. It must have some kind of support structure underneath, but that in no way makes it less awesome.

7. MUTANT SNOWMEN

This picture has been around a long time, but the setting makes it funny enough to revisit again and again.

8. PEEPING SNOWMAN

A snowman doesn’t have to be a work of art to be memorable. As in the snowman above, placement can make all the difference between a snowman you admire and then forget, and a snowman that will haunt your dreams for a lifetime. Redditor pistols_for_pandas and friends made this one to prank a roommate.

9. ENGLISH SNOWMAN

Verity Armstrong of Borehamwood, Hertfordshire, UK, built a snowman that shows her patriotism, complete with both a Union Jack and a St. George’s Cross. And horns.

10. SNOW HIPSTER

Bits of greenery give personality to this snowman, called a “snow hipster” by Flickr user Quinn Dombrowski, who took the picture. It must be the soul patch. The snowman is a tribute to the employees of the Cobb Cafe in Chicago.

11. FLORIDA SNOWMAN

When Florida received a rare snowfall, redditor rockthewaves33 hurried to make a snowman. It didn’t last long. He asked for name suggestions, and the top-voted name was Melty Raisinface the First.

12. NEW MEXICO SNOWMAN

When you don’t have any snow at all, you’ve got to get creative. What do you have? Tumbleweeds! Yes, it’s true that New Mexico has mountains and snow, but snow is not a necessity to build this snowman.

 

Well, my work here is done…. have a great remainder of your weekend whether it be of the long variety or not.  Thanks for stopping by and please pop back a week hence for more of the same.

 

Ciao,

 

Keith