The Sunday Funnies & Factoids – The ‘Get Off of My Porch and Take That Ninja Turtle With Ya’ Edition
by Keith Lennox, All-len-All, 10/26,14 –
Happy Sunday, my friends. Typical Fall weather here…. most of the leaves down, grey, damp, but all is well because the NFL is wall to wall today starting with a 9:30 AM kickoff from jolly old London town. So, all-len-all, life is pretty darn good.
I hope everyone is healthy and happy this weekend and many thanks for stopping by….. so without further delay, here is some mind cluttering tidbits for y’all.
2) In his first season with the New York Yankees in 1919, Babe Ruth hit more home runs (29) than any other American League team.
3) Stephanie Kwolik’s name might not ring a bell, but she’s responsible for saving thousands of lives. In 1965, she invented Kevlar, the material used in bulletproof vests.
4) The modeling compound Play-Doh started out in the 1950s as a wallpaper cleaner for coal residue. Sales began to fall as coal was used less frequently in furnaces, but the owner’s sister-in-law, a preschool teacher, suggested it be used as a children’s toy.
6) Local lore in Saint Louis claims that Cary Grant started the trend of placing a mint on a pillow. In an attempt to woo a lady, he had the bell hop let him into her room and place a mint on a pillow with a calling card.
7) 10 Allegedly Cursed Objects Throughout History
1. THE HOPE DIAMOND
Believed to have come to the surface 1.1 billion years ago, this gem is estimated to be worth $200-250 million. It has traveled the world but now resides in the Smithsonian Natural History Museum, and some believe it is cursed, with a whole mythology claiming that great misfortune and misery will befall any who dares to wear the 45.52 carat diamond. Rumored victims of the diamond have suffered disgrace, divorce, suicide, imprisonment, torture, financial ruin, lynching, or decapitation. One was even said to have been ripped apart by dogs, and another by a French mob. However, skeptics say this curse was a ploy to enhance the Hope Diamond’s mystique and value.
2. THE BUSBY STOOP CHAIR
English drunkard Thomas Busby sealed his fate when he murdered his father-in-law Daniel Auty in 1702. For his crimes, he was executed by hanging at a crossroads near a humble inn. But the story goes that this was not the end of Busby’s killing. A chair that looked on to the site of his execution is believed to carry a curse—whoever sits upon it will supposedly die from a frightful accident. Still, the chair lingered in the inn until 1978, when the owner gifted it to the Thirsk Museum, where it now resides high on a wall, where no one need fear an accidental sitting.
3. THE CRYING BOY PAINTING
Another curse out of England comes from this popular 1950s reproduction of Bruno Amadio’s “The Crying Boy” painting. The superstition goes that the pictures of this mournful child cause fires. Its source was an article in the tabloid The Sun from September 4th, 1985. A couple’s house burned down, but the fire didn’t burn “The Crying Boy.” A local firefighter then noted that there were other fires that left only an undamaged “Crying Boy” painting.
4. THE HANDS RESIST HIM PAINTING
Another tale of cursed art surrounds this painting of a young boy and a female doll standing before a window. Painted by California artist Bill Stoneham in 1972, “The Hands Resist Him” belonged to actor John Marley before ending up on eBay in 2000 with claims it was cursed. The anonymous sellers said it was found abandoned behind an old brewery. Soon after taking it home, their young daughter claimed the figures in the painting moved at night, and even stepped out of their frame to cause chaos in the home. They posted photos as proof. As may be the case with the Hope Diamond, the curse story drove up the bid to $1,025.00.
5. THE TERRACOTTA ARMY
In 1974, seven peasant farmers in China were digging a well for their village when they accidentally uncovered the 2,200-year-old Terracotta Army, an astonishingly detailed series of 8,000 sculptures that had been long buried as part of a grand tomb. The find has been a great one for China, bringing academics and busloads of tourists. But those who found it gained only misery. The Chinese government claimed their lands and destroyed their homes to properly unearth this army, financially ruining not just these men, but most of their village. Painful deaths followed for three of the seven, because as one of the survivors points out, they could not afford health care. Some have blamed government callousness for these men’s fates. Others believe that this is a curse similar to that of Tut’s Tomb.
6. TUT’S TOMB
Perhaps the most famous curse of all is the Tomb of Tutankhamun, the burial place of the 19-year-old pharaoh. All who enter—be they bandit or archaeologist—are said to be struck with bad luck, illness, or death because of the curse of the pharaohs. Belief in this curse predated the 1922 Howard Carter expedition to find Tut’s tomb, but his discovery unleashed new life for this legend. The first to die was the canary that was rumored to have led Carter to the tomb’s hidden location. Some say it was eaten by a cobra, a symbol of Egyptian royalty, while others insist it wasn’t even killed, but rather given to a friend. Soon thereafter, Carter’s financial backer Lord Carnavon died when a mosquito bite became infected. Twenty more deaths of people would get blamed on the curse by 1935. Still, skeptics suggest coincidence or a deadly fungus from the tomb are to blame.
Another mummy believed to carry a terrible curse is Ötzi, also known as the Iceman. Discovered in September of 1991 in the Ötztal Alps in Italy, Ötzi is a mummy of a man who is believed to have lived around 3,300 BCE. A glacier surrounded him after he died of exposure, and preserved his body. But once unearthed, rumors of a curse surfaced too, and grew stronger as people linked to him began to die, often in violent accidents. All told, seven deathshave been tied to Ötzi’s uprooting, including forensic pathologist Rainer Henn who was killed in a car accident en route to give a speech about the Iceman, mountaineer Kurt Fritz who died in an avalanche, and hiker Helmut Simon, who discovered the Iceman on a hike with his wife and later died after falling off a treacherous path.
8. JAMES DEAN’S LITTLE BASTARD
“Little Bastard” was what Dean called his silver Porsche 550 Spyder, the car he died in following an accident in 1955. After that, the vehicle was purchased by hot rod designerGeorge Barris, who planned to sell it for parts. The curse narrative was born when the car fell and crushed a mechanic’s legs. As parts of the car sold, the curse is said to have spread. A doctor who bought the engine was killed in a car accident; another victim who bought the transmission was severely injured in a crash. The tires sold from Little Bastard blew out simultaneously, sending their buyer to the hospital. While the shell of the car was being transported, the truck carrying it crashed, and the driver was killed. From there, the shell was stolen and the curse of Little Bastard went quiet as its location became unknown.
9. THE PHONE NUMBER +359 888 888 888
You might think a cursed phone number sounds like the plot to an uninspired horror flick, but anyone who had the number listed above since its first issuing in the early 2000s has died. That includes the CEO of a Bulgarian mobile phone company who died of cancer at 48, as well as two crooks—one a mafia boss and the other a cocaine-dealing estate agent, both of whom were “gunned down.” All three died within four years of one another. Since then, the telephone number has been suspended, and the company that owns it refuses to comment as to why.
10. THE BASANO VASE
Legend has it that this silver vase made in the 15th century was given to a bride on the eve of her wedding near Napoli, Italy. Sadly, she’d never make it to the altar as she was murderedthat very night with the vase in her hands. From there, it was passed down her family line, but anyone who took possession of it is said to have perished soon thereafter. After untold deaths, the family boxed the vase away. It resurfaced in 1988 with a note that is said to have read, “Beware…This vase brings death.” However, when the Basano Vase was auctioned off for about $2,250, the note had been excluded from the item description. The pharmacist who bought it died within three months. Three more deaths of new owners followed until finally the curse seemed to go dormant when a desperate family demanded the police take it away. It has not been seen since.
8) President Lincoln’s oldest son was connected to three presidential assassinations. He was invited, but did not attend, Ford’s Theatre (but was by his father’s deathbed in 1865); he was on the scene when Garfield was shot in 1881; and he was present for McKinley’s assassination in 1901…… jeeebus, bet he wasn’t invited to very many parties after that…….
9) Through the first half of the 20th century, only one winner of the Oscar for Best Picture was filmed in color: Gone with the Wind.
11) Each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the middle ages: heart represented the Church, spades represented the military, clubs represented agriculture, and diamonds represented the merchant class.
12) Nobody knows who built the Taj Mahal. The names of the architects, masons, and designers that have come down to us have all proved to be latter-day inventions, and there is no evidence to indicate who the real creators were.
13) The Origins of 11 Funny Animal-Related Sayings
Chances are, you’ve uttered an animal-related saying recently—did you go “chew the cud” with a pal? Wonder what it would like to be “a fly on the wall”? Perhaps you went and “looked a gift horse in the mouth”?—but you still might not know where such freely used adages came from. A “doggie bag” might sound obvious, and clams sure look happy enough to bely their own saying, but the origins of various animal-related sayings are often more complicated (and fun) than you’d expect.
1. DOGGIE BAG
Although the term “doggie bag” might sound relatively self-explanatory—hey, it’s leftovers for your pet!—the saying actually has a surprisingly interesting history. During World War II, food was scarce for everyone (including pets), but that didn’t help curb restaurant wastefulness; packaging up leftovers (regardless of who they were for) wasn’t yet standard practice. Eventually, a group of San Francisco cafes began to offer “Pet Pakits” to their diners in order to zip their scraps home to the furry ones. The practice soon spread around the country, ensuring that restaurant waste went down and the spread of doggie bags went way up.
2. WHEN PIGS FLY
Various iterations of sayings about piggies flying have existed for centuries. It’s believed that the first use of a flying pig comment (in appropriate sassy and disbelieving context) appeared in John Withals’ 1616 English-Latin dictionary, A Shorte Dictonarie for Yonge Begynners. The dictionary included a list of proverbs, which included “pigs fly in the ayre with their tayles forward.”
3. BUSY AS A BEE
It was Geoffrey Chaucer who gave us this particular saying. The first known use of a busy bee adage appeared in his Canterbury Tales. In “The Squire’s Tale,” a passage reads: “Lo, suche sleightes and subtilitees/ In wommen be; for ay as busy as bees/ Be thay us seely men for to desceyve,/ And from a soth ever a lie thay weyve. /And by this Marchaundes tale it proveth wel.”
Although William Shakespeare is believed to be the first author to use the phrase “wild-goose chase” (it appears in Romeo & Juliet), his version of such a chase referred to a type of horse race that was popular during his time. It wasn’t until centuries later when it appeared in its current form, already a part of the vernacular, as shared in Francis Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, published in 1811. By then, it had been defined as “a tedious uncertain pursuit, like the following a flock of wild geese, who are remarkably shy.” Sounds about right!
5. AS HAPPY AS A CLAM
The first mention of seemingly smiling clams was published in 1833, in James Hall’s The Harpe’s Head: A Legend of Kentucky, “It never occurred to him to be discontented…He was as happy as a clam.” But although Hall’s mention appears to be the first on record, the actual saying is “as happy as a clam at high water,” reflecting the one time of day that clams and their ilk don’t have to worry about land-loving predators. That saying popped up in an 1844 edition of The Adams Sentinel, a Pennsylvania newspaper, and is still considered to be the appropriate version to use when quoting the adage.
6. BLACK SHEEP
Black animals have long been viewed as bad omens, and although black cats seems to havegotten the bulk of in-person fears, sheep have been saddled with the most popular saying regarding their fur pigmentation. It’s unclear why this happened—some sources blame an unchecked version of a 1535 Bible (which muddled the story of Jacob and his flock of animals, making it sound as if black sheep were the ones cast out, which isn’t true to the original text), but a clearer version pops up in Thomas Shepard’s 1640 text, The Sincere Convert. Shepard wrote, “cast out all the Prophane people among us, as drunkards, swearers, whores, lyers, which the Scripture brands for blacke sheepe, and condemnes them in a 100 places.” Not very nice.
It’s believed that this adage—a snappy remark made to a silent person—somehow sprung up from kids’ stories. The first appearance of it in print already derided it as a children’s saying, though no previous versions of it, in books or magazines, have been found. It appeared inBallou’s Monthly Magazine in 1881, in a single line that read: “has the cat got your tongue, as the children say?”
8. IN THE DOGHOUSE
It’s long been believed that the term “in the doghouse” first appeared in J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan—after all, beloved father Mr. Darling sends himself to the dog’s house as a personal penance for letting his kids be temporarily stolen by their high-flying new pal—but the saying was around much earlier. An actual definition of the term (“in dog house, in disfavor”) appeared in J.J. Finerty’s 1926 book Criminalese, a book meant to share “the language of criminals.”
9. RED HERRING
This one is actually fairly complicated. Although it’s easy enough to locate the first use of “red herring” in a text—penned by John Heywood in 1546, as part of a glossary of proverbs he compiled—it’s less obvious how the saying developed its meaning (“something misleading”). Although some people believe it springs from the old use of fish to throw off the scent of hunting dogs, most believe we owe the tricky saying to an actual trick.
In 1672, British clergyman Jasper Mayne died, leaving behind a trunk for one of his servants, who popped it open (expecting something good), only to find it was filled with herring. Although that herring was salted, later reports referred to it as being red, a mistake on top of some misdirection. But other etymologists trace the story to a 19th century article in theWeekly Political Register criticizing the British press for false reporting on Napoleon’s defeat, taking their attention off of domestic issues. To illustrate the story, he invented a story of a young boy dragging a red herring to distract hunting dogs. Despite being fictional, it might be the origin of the hunt myth.
10. SWAN SONG
The idea that swans “sing” just before they die has been disproven time and time again, although that hasn’t stopped the spread of this saying. In fact, Pliny the Elder included a mention of the falsehood-rooted saying in his A Natural History, all the way back in A.D. 77. Still, the “swan song” saying and ideation pops up in the works of Shakespeare, Coleridge, and Chaucer, proving that no one can avoid a poetic vision, even if it’s false.
11. THE BEE’S KNEES
Tempted to dismiss this one as “flapper talk”? You’re not the only one. Although “the bee’s knees” has been around as a purposely nonsensical saying since the 18th century, it was only adopted into its current use (as “something cool”) during the Roaring Twenties. Even in a 1922 newspaper article in Ohio’s The Newark Advocate that sought to explain various new wave terms, the piece declared “that’s flapper talk,” just another saying appropriated by the young and hip.
That’s it for this weeks installment of my S&Fs. Thanks for stopping by and I will meet up with you in a weeks time. Hope you learned something today.
Please do me a favor, no, do yourselves a favor, and if the opportunity presents itself…. pay it forward at some point this week.