The Sunday Funnies & Factoids: The ‘Labor Day My Ass, I Ain’t Doing Nuthin’ Edition

by Keith Lennox, All-len-All, 08/31/14 – 

Happy Labor day weekend Sunday, gang.  Nice to have you back.  As I type this I hear geese honking overhead as they head for more southerly climes….. oy…. that seems early.  Sure hope that isn’t a harbinger of what the winter may have in store for us, although the Old Farmer’s Almanac says that we are in for a brutal one….. both colder and more snow than last year.  If that is indeed the case I may just open a vein and pray for the sweet release of death.  Okay, off to buy 20 dollars worth of lottery tickets in hopes that I can push back my suicide attempt for the time being.

While I’m gone, please enjoy this week’s edition of The Sunday Funnies and Factoids.  If by chance I do get a winning ticket I’ll save you some time and breath, “No, that is not a really good business idea…. in fact it’s downright stupid.  Never call me again.”

1) According to MIT alum Edward Lorez, It is impossible to predict weather more than three weeks ahead of time with any degree of certainty. This is derived from his studies into chaos theory in 1972. His paper was titled Predictability: Does the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?, from where the term “butterfly effect” evolved.

pringles2) Despite what you may have heard about Bastille Day, the storming of the Bastille wasn’t nearly as heroic as it sounds. For one thing, very few guards were stationed around the place. Stranger still, there were only seven inmates inside.

3) “Drag,” in reference to cross-dressing, first appeared in the dictionary in 1870. The term originated in the theater. Men wearing elaborate gowns found that long hems tended to drag on the ground, and eventually referred to any character requiring a dress as a “drag” role.

photoshop4) The octopus is the most intelligent animal in the world that does not have a backbone. Studies have shown they can solve fairly complex problems and are considered to have approximately the same intelligence level as a dog.

5) John F. Kennedy’s assassination on November 22, 1963, overshadowed the deaths of two prominent authors: Aldous Huxley and C. S. Lewis.

6) Cruise control and automatic transmissions were invented by a blind engineer named Ralph Teetor.  Ummmmmm, he didn’t test drive them himself, did he?

cat shit7) In the movie Labyrinth, David Bowie wasn’t the only option to play Jareth, the Goblin King. The other two were Sting and Michael Jackson.

8) The purpose of gasoline rationing during the Second World War was not to conserve gas, but to conserve TIRES. The primary source for natural rubber at the time was Southeast Asia, much of which was under Japanese control.

9) My parents always said that I could anything in the world I wanted to be…. I decided to become an asshole.

10) Sammy Sosa is the only player in MLB history to hit 60 or more home runs in three different seasons, and yet he didn’t lead the majors in home runs in any of these seasons.

i don't need someone who is perfect11) More than 300 million Cadbury Creme Eggs are produced each year….. my teeth hurt just reading that.

12) Since 1932, only Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush have failed in their bids for re-election to a second presidential term.

13) Although the word “earthling” today conjures visions of science-fiction stories, it is actually the Old English word for a farmer.

14) The first armored presidential limo was used by President Franklin Roosevelt just as the United States was entering WW II. This particular Cadillac convertible originally belonged to the gangster Al Capone. It was seized in 1932 when Capone was charged with tax evasion.

15) 12 Common Dreams and What They Supposedly Mean:

Despite Freud’s well-documented beliefs, dream interpretation isn’t a straightforward method. In fact, the majority of modern scientists and psychologists accept dreams and their meanings as unsolved mysteries. Regardless, there are some extremely common dreams that we all keep having.Though most psychologists disagree with the current state of dream interpretation, people still choose to consult so-called dream experts. Often times, these analysts disagree. To get a clear picture, we will examine the viewpoints of four authors. Lauri Loewenberg has written three books on this topic and has appeared on The Dr. Oz Show and Anderson Cooper 360. Ian Wallace is a dream psychologist who wrote The Complete A to Z Dictionary of Dreams. Russell Grant published The Illustrated Dream Dictionary, which connects symbols in dreams with waking life. Finally, Lauren Lawrence has a New York Daily News column on dream analysis and was the host of the show Celebrity Nightmares Decoded. Based on these four sources, here are 12 common dreams and interpretations. 

1. FALLING

 

Loewenberg calls this dream a “red flag from your subconscious.” She believes this dream is common in people who are having a major life problem with work, relationships, or elsewhere. Grant’s work concurs with this viewpoint, even citing the same examples.

2. TEETH FALLING OUT

 

The experts greatly disagree on this one. Wallace views teeth as a symbol of power and confidence. This dream is supposedly a sign that something happened in the dreamer’s life that has caused him or her to lose confidence. According to Grant, teeth are a bad omen and represent a broken relationship. Lawrence has a Freudian answer to this dream. For women, she believes the dream is an example of wish-fulfillment—they want to become pregnant. For men, it is a desire for sexual stimulation.

3. SHOWING UP TO WORK OR SCHOOL NAKED

 

The experts largely agree that this dream represents vulnerability and anxiety. Wallace’s research reveals that this dream is “common to people who have accepted a promotion, gone off to a new job, or who are coming into public view.”

4. TEST-TAKING

 

Lawrence has observed that only perfectionists tend to have recurring stressful test-taking dreams. She alleges that the dream reminds a person to stay alert. Loewenberg believes that in adults, these dreams draw parallels between school and a job. Because both places see a lot of pressure-filled situations, Loewenberg associates this dream with work stress.

5. DYING

 

Lawrence’s interpretation is that this dream “reveals the wish to terminate something in life: a relationship, a job, a career path, or even the past.” Grant’s dictionary emphasizes that this dream is not necessarily a nightmare. Rather, he repeatedly states that it is a dream meant to encourage a person to embark on a new endeavor or fresh start.

6. MEETING A CELEBRITY

 

Getty ImagesWallace names this as one of the dreams his clients have the most. He believes the actual celebrity is relevant and may reveal what talents the dreamer values. In Dream on It, Loewenberg writes that celebrities are a symbol of a personal need for recognition.

7. BEING CHASED

 

Despite the nightmarish feel of this dream, Wallace considers it a positive sign. He believes that this dream is supposed to encourage the dreamer to finally face a problem that has been hanging over his or her head. Loewenberg encounters this dream more often in women than men.

8. PARTNER IS CHEATING

 

Most of these authorities agree that this dream should not be taken as clairvoyance. According to Loewenberg, “The cheating dream happens when your mate is spending too much time and attention on something that does not involve you.” Similarly, Lawrence notes a lack of trust in a romantic relationship tends to spark this dream.

9. SHOWING UP LATE TO SOMETHING 

 

This dream might be a sign that someone is overwhelmed and doing too much, according to Wallace. On a related note, Grant interprets this lateness as a warning: “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

10. FLYING

 

Wallace claims that the dream encourages a person to let go of current issues and allow things to ”fall naturally into place.” Similarly, flying is a sign that there is an out of control situation in real life, according to Grant.See Also: 6 Surprising Things That Can Influence Your Dreams

11. BEING PREGNANT

 

Grant understands this dream as a sign that the dreamer is having problems. Lawrence views it as a need, either to start a creative project or become a parent. Or the dream may be representative of a new idea that has recently come to the person, as Loewenberg believes.

12. DRIVING AN OUT-OF-CONTROL VEHICLE

 

The interpretations of this dream are just as cliché as expected. For example, Wallace writes, “You may feel that you don’t have enough control on your road to success.” Grant warns that this is a sign that a current bad habit may become a long-term problem.All images courtesy of Thinkstock unless otherwise noted.

Thanks for stopping by, boys and girls.  Catch you back here next week….. same time, same website.

Stay happy and safe during the upcoming week and if given the opportunity do someone, as well as yourself, a favor and pay it forward.

Ciao,

Keith

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