The Sunday Funnies & Factoids – The ‘Last Day of May, My Ass’ Edition –
by Keith Lennox, All-len-All, 05/31/15 –
I awoke this morning to a blistering temperature of 37 degrees….. so much for what the 97% of climate scientists maintain…. global warming, my ass. I am now entrenched firmly in the climate deniers camp until this shit stops and I see some real late Spring temps. I may even shoot an email off to Jim Inhofe to tell him that he now has one more ardent follower and that I can get on board with his cult, errrrrr constituents…… I’m kidding of course, but you have to admit 37 degrees is more than a little over (under) the top.
Okay, enough of my bitching and moaning and on with the show…….
1) Otto Frank wrote Audrey Hepburn asking her to portray his daughter Anne in the movie “The Diary of Anne Frank”. Audrey kindly declined the part.
3) In 1915, millionaire Cecil Chubb bought Stonehenge as a gift for his wife. she didn’t like it so he gave it to the nation in 1918.
4) The modern Ouija Board got its name by asking the board what it should be called.
5) During WWI, Marie Curie attempted to donate her Gold Nobel Prize medals for the war effort but the French National Bank refused to accept them.
6) The Amazon River discharges 5 times as much water as any other river on the planet.
7) Every single spy Hitler thought he had in Britain during WWII was a double agent under British control.
9) In 539 BC, Persian King Cyrus the Great issued the world’s first charter of human rights. He freed slaves, declared that all people had the right to choose their own religion, and established racial equality.
10) Jerusalem, Israel, has been destroyed twice , besieged 23 times, attacked 52 times, captured and recaptured 44 times, and it’s one of the world’s oldest cities.
11) Indian housewives hold 11% of the World’s Gold. That is more than the reserves of the U.S., IMF, Switzerland and Germany put together.
13) Martin Luther King Jr. had previously used his “dream” rhetoric many times before his famous speech in other lesser-known speeches.
14) Moon landing conspiracy theories were proven wrong in 2011 when a NASA probe revealed high-resolution photos of the Apollo Moon landing sites.
15) 21% of all New York City elementary students from all income levels are obese.
17) Nowhere in the Bible does it say that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or even overtly sexual.
18) When the World Cup was hosted in the U.S. in 1994, they only spent US$30 million on infrastructure improvements. For the 2014 World Cup, Brazil spent US$11 billion.
19) Where Exactly Is Anne Boleyn’s Body?
Poor Anne Boleyn had a pretty rough 1536. First, a pregnant Anne discovered her husband was having an affair with Jane Seymour, one of her ladies in waiting. Some believe the shock and betrayal caused Anne to suffer a miscarriage in early February–and at least one report says it was the boy Henry VIII so desperately wanted. The birth of a healthy male baby probably would have saved Anne’s life, but since she was unable to produce a male heir to the throne, her husband decided to simply replace her. Anne found herself imprisoned in the Tower of London on May 2, accused of adultery, incest, and high treason. Her marriage was annulled on May 17, and she was relieved of her head on May 19.
To add insult to all of this injury, no one bothered to give Anne a proper burial. Though the execution itself was meticulously planned, it hadn’t occurred to anyone that there was no coffin until after Anne’s head rolled. After rummaging around the grounds, someone eventually scrounged up an old arrow chest to cram the corpse into.
She and her brother were then buried in an unmarked grave in front of the altar at St. Peter’s and Vincula, within the Tower of London, and then completely forgotten about for the next 300-plus years. It wasn’t until Tower repairs in 1876 that Anne resurfaced–maybe. Bones were discovered under the altar during the renovations, and based on the circumstantial evidence of an arrow chest coffin, bones belonging to a slender woman between the ages of 25 and 35, and a decapitated head, it was assumed that the remains belonged to Anne. However, Henry VIII disposed of fifth wife Katherine Howard in the exact same manner, and had her corpse thrown in with the pile of bodies accumulating under the altar. Still other women were decapitated and buried in the same place, including Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury; Lady Jane Grey; and Lady Rochford.
Despite the fact that five headless women were buried there at one point, only four bodies were uncovered. The remains of Katherine Howard had seemingly disappeared, perhaps due to the quicklime found in the graves. Regardless of the uncertainty, Queen Victoria had the bodies exhumed and placed in individual coffins. A plaque with the name of the person thought to be inside was affixed to each coffin, and each one was given a proper reburial underneath the altar.
Is it really Anne Boleyn who lies beneath, or did workers really find someone else, giving credence to the theory that Anne Boleyn’s relatives had her body secretly reburied elsewhere? Unless DNA testing is performed on the remains, we’ll probably never know.
21) Had the Duke of Edinburgh not changed his surname in order to marry the future Queen Elizabeth II, he and his wife would be known today as Phil and Betty Glucksberg.
22) The only father-daughter collaboration to hit number one on the Billboard pop chart was “Something Stupid” by Frank & Nancy Sinatra in 1967.
23) Phi Beta Kappa, one of America’s most respectable college honor societies, actually began as an underground order dead-set on sticking it to The Man. Founded in 1776, the group provided an outlet for freedom of speech when governments and universities weren’t keen on respecting that right.
24) The main exporter of Brazil nuts is not Brazil. It’s Bolivia.
25) 47% of Americans say they cannot cover a $400 emergency expense without borrowing money or selling something.
26) In 2009, WhatsApp co-founderBrian Acton was turned down for a job at Facebook. Five years later, Facebook purchased WhatsApp for US$19 billion…….. fuck you, Zuckerberg……
Okay, boys and girls, I’m outta’ here. Have a great day and week ahead. I hope that you learned a little something today and got a smile from the latest edition of The Sunday Funnies & Factoids. Stay safe, happy, and healthy until we meet once again.